Quattad

Have You Seen My Girlfriend? She's a lively bunch of Pixels. :D

2009-07-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

hay noobs.

recently, i have read a CHINESE newspaper article ( no no thank you dont clap i was forced by the cow otherwise he wouldnt provide me with HL milk for the rest of the week ), about internet marriages.

talk about desperate.

i dont blame you if you have this sudden 'demon' raging inside of you little boys and girls.

but i mean, then what are porn webbies for man?

lol jk.

apparently, there are 15-16 year olds getting 'married' in games like GaypleStory ( MapleStory ) and Orgition ( Audition, sorry couldnt help it )to pixels they may or have not met before.

pretty childish, dont you think.

its just play marriage with Barbie and Ken on the internet.

other than being simply unrealistic, there are several downsides to this crap too.

1) you waste electricity having a stupid reason to play stupid games with your pixelated wife.

2) you'll be admiring more of your PC or lappy's sexy and curvy HD monitor/screen than your wife's body. ( theres nothing to stare at anyway maple and audi make girls look like anorexic bleached dogs )

3) YOU CANT HAVE SECKS! D:
other than maple's ' on the ladder ' upskirts (or upshorts), the only thing left to do is to verbalise your actions.
which isnt very nice to do in a place where millions of gamers of all ages reside in.

StupeedKeed2007 : [ To -I_R_Luv_Pron] hey there im 5 years old would you like to join my party?

I_R_Luv_Pron : [ To - StupeedKeed2007] uh yes. grab me harder. make me, your slave pokemon Blastoise, use a hydro pump on you within the next 10 minutes. <3

I_R_Luv_Pron : [ To- StupeedKeed2007] Whoopsie wrong person.

you never know when you may hit your Tab key by accident.

so never get a 2.5 megapixel girlfriend ( to me thats maplestory's best graphic type ).

Goodnight for Today,

Quattad.

Monster

2009-06-22T09:52:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, there lived a monster without a name.

The monster wanted a name so badly he couldn't stand it.

So the monster decided to go off on a journey to find himself a name.

But because the world was so big, the monster split in two and went on two seperate journeys.

One went east... and the other went west...

The one that went east found a village.

There was a blacksmith at the village entrance.

"Mr.Blacksmith, please give me your name."

"I can't give you my name."

"If you give me your name, I will jump inside you and make you stronger in return."

"Really? I'll give you my name if you can make me stronger."

The monster jumped inside the blacksmith.

The monster became Otto the blacksmith.

Otto the blacksmith was the strongest man in the village.

But one day... "Look at me! Look at me! The monster inside me has grown this big!"

Chomp. Munch. Crunch. Gulp.

The hungry monster ate Otto from the inside out.

He went back to being a monster without a name.

Even though he jumped inside Hans the shoemaker...

Chomp. Munch. Crunch. Gulp.

He went back to being a monster without a name again.

Even though he jumped inside Thomas the hunter...

Chomp. Munch. Crunch. Gulp.

He still went back to being a monster without a name.

The monster went to the castle to find a wonderful name.

Inside the castle, there was a very sick boy.

"I'll make you stronger if you give me your name."

"I'll give you my name if you can cure my illness and make me stronger."

The monster jumped inside the boy.

The boy became very healthy.

The king was delighted.

"The prince is well! The prince is well!"

The monster became fond of the boy's name.

He also grew fond of his life inside the castle.

That's why he endured even when he became hungry.

Everyday, even when his stomach became very empty, he endured.

But because he became so hungry...

"Look at me! Look at me! The monster inside me has grown this big!"

The boy ate his father, his servants, and everyone.

Chomp. Munch. Crunch. Gulp.

Because everyone was gone, the boy left on a journey.

He walked and walked for days.

One day, the boy met the monster that went west.

"I have a name. It's a wonderful name.

And then the monster that went west said, "I don't need a name. I'm happy even if I don't have a name. Because we're monsters without names"

The boy ate the monster that went west.

Even though he now had a name, there was no one left to call him by his name...

Johan.

It's a wonderful name.

awkward inspirations 2

2009-06-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

hay thar.

im typing this nao on my XPS :D.

nice and sleek feel man.

damn there's already a strand of pubic hair stuck inbetween the keys LOL.

no la just a normal hair strain.

alright, lets get to the teaching for today.

MANGA

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far, away, the word "manga" was created by the mighty overlord named Skye.

This can be either manga or mangay.

Anime and Manga are also similar in that there are fourteen basic character types:

The overly butch and dominating female
The overly bubbly and ditsy girl who's also totally useless and is there for boobs. (This tends to be the character that lifeless manga nerds jack off to.)
The strong and silent male warrior who all the girls like
The strong and silent female warrior, who participates in just as many daring exploits as the male warrior... off-screen. In other words, just there for boobs
The stupid warrior in training (often times the main character)
The happy go lucky kid who seems totally weak but really has some kind of crazy superpower and effortlessly kicks ass. (often times looses this power to pave the way for the main charcter to be the hero)
Shitty philosophy from useless female character
Someone's mom (see overly butch and dominating female)
The Sensei
The evil guy who all the girls like, is really powerful, and is a total gaywad
Some guy who yells to gain more power.
Annoying and stating-the-obvious explain/*gasp* character.
A teen trying to put these little creatures in the balls.
Men of which are more woman-like than women, which can be perceived as blasphemous or erotic.
The ghost from a television.
The enormous sword
The only black guy
The big, shiny eyes with pupils that retract and dilate every half-second
The fugly monsters
Teens with the ability to overpower adults
The large breasts that defy gravity by being held aloft by thin strips of fabric
The only Asian guy (you know the one who ALWAYS has his eyes closed, damn sleep walker...)

ANIME

An anime (pronounced ah-neem) is a chemical compound that contains the anime group, which consists of one oxygen atom, one tantalum atom, one potassium atom, and one uranium atom, with a total charge of negative one (OTaKU^-). Anime compounds can be divided into two groups: animo acids and animo salts. The name is derived from the Japanese word meaning "Huge Eyes".

PS2

“PS DOUBLE.”

~ Chadwarden on PS2

“GayRapetion 2. Live in your world. Get raped in ours”

~ Phony on PS2

Playstation 2 (Japanese: ゲイステーション2) represents the first stage of the fall of a total overcooked hotdog to the forefront of the gaming console industry. It has reappeared a few years ago in its slimmer form, most likely because it went on a diet.

Things a PS2 is good for

Droping it off a building
Put a PS1 game in there and not take in note that you could just put it in the PS1
Sending it to Chuck Norris to be killed from the face of the earth
Buy 1000 PS2's and sell them on ebay to buy a PS3, only to know that you already have a paperweight you don't need a $600 one

PS3

The PS3, not even capable of toasting some bread properly.

Units Sold:	4
Specifications:	Intel 2.1 core running at 0.0000001 Mhz 0.5 bytes of Memory, Graphics chip: A single transistor
Notable Games:	Little big planet (voted worst game of all time), 'Turn off the PS3'

The PLAYSTATION 3 is a "console for grilling meats like pork and lamb.

The price of the PS3 consists of nothing expelled with high velocity from the nose.

Adolf Hitler promoting the PS3

Latest game on the PS3. Units Sold : 0

The amazing Spider-Man has sued the Playstation division for infinging upon his copyrighted font.

the PS3's fan is said to be twice as loud as a jet plane's reactors.

The PS3 has a self-defence mechanism which causes it to explode soon after turning it on for the first time, forcing you to buy another, which then explodes, and it goes on.

have fun.
Quattad

Awkward Inspirations

2009-06-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

this should help increase your IQ LOL.

Pokemon.

The concept revolves around various people stuffing small animals into tiny hollow orbs and forcing them to fight each other.

It is likely that this idea lead to the rapid increase in animal abuse by kids.

Naruto Uzumaki

When they were giving out brains, Naruto got what is believed to be a red panda brain instead.

The plot revolves around Naruto and "pals" doing some stuff and playing Nintendo.

Naruto likes pranks but he did not got anything at last.

His classmates make fun of him for his bright orange costume and raspy voice.

He is also thought of as a massive prick.

Sasuke Uchiha

Naruto's first teammate.

He wants to have revenge against his brother Itachi for killing his whole family except for him -

making Sasuke a true role model for 12-year-old children like him everywhere.

Seeing everyone he loved murdered before his eyes has also caused him to act all dark and emo (This is also where his nickname The Big Bad Emo comes from.)

Left 4 Dead

Left 4 Dead (also known as Right 5 Alive) is a hardcore pornography game, featuring elements of zombieality, S&M and Necrophilia.

Pikachu

“Pikachuuuuuuuu!”

~ Pikachu

Pika Pikachu pika, chu pikachu.

Pika pikachu, pikachu. Pika pika pika, pikachu--pikachu! Pikachu chu chuuuuuuu chu pika. Pika pikachu chu chu pika. Pikachu pikachu pikachu, chu. Pikachu pika?

Pikachu (Pika pika) pika piKAchu pika Pikachu pika pika pi pikachu pika pi (Pi pika). Pikachu pi kapika, chu, kachu ka pika pika Pika chu Pikachu pika pika pi Pikachu pika kachu Pika pika Pikachu pika. Pikachu pika pi Pikachu, Pi ka Chu, pika Pika. Pika pikachu pika, pika pikachua pi chu Pikachu pi, pikachu chuuu, pi pikachu pika pikachu pika pi, pi pika kachu. Pika Pikachu ka Pikachu pika, pi pika pikachu. Ka pika chu |Pi ka Chu. Pikachu pika chu, chu pika. Pikachu pikachu Pikachu ka pikachu, chu ka pika Pikachu pi pika "Pika chuuuu". Pi chu Pikachu kachu, pika pikachu, pika pika. Pika chu pi. Pikachu pi ka chu, pika pikachu.

Pi kachu Pikachu pika pikachu Pikachu pika pikachu Pikachu.

Pika pikachu Pikachu.

Pika Pikachu, kapika pikachu pika Pikachu, pika kachu pika pikachu. Pikachuu.

Pi Pikachu ka Pikachu, pika. Pika pika pika pika pika pika pika. Chu Pikachu Kachu Pika Pi Ka Pi Chu Kachu (Pi Pikachu!) pika pika pikachu ka pika pikachu pika pikachu

Pi ka Pikachu (pika pikachu pi ka chuuu), pika Pikachu pika Pika pikachu pika Pikachu pika pika |Pikachu/|Pikachu pikachu pika. Pika Pikachu pi Pikachu ka Pika Chu pika Pikachu ka, pika Pikachu pike pikachu pika, pika Pikapika ka Pikachu pika. Pika pi chu kachu pika pika chu "Pikachu." Pika, kachu "Pikachu Chu," chu pikachu Pi, pika pikachu Pika Chu ka 'pikachu' pika chu pika pika. Pika pikachu "Pika Pika chu Pikachu Pika." Pika Pikachu pi kachu Pikachu Pika pika Pika pika chu ka Pika. Pika pikachu Pikachu pi Pika chu Pi Pikachu pi kachu chu kachu pika pikachu.

okay i admit i was bored LOL.

but you didnt know about all this, did you. :D

Uncyclopedia's a great teacher.

for the crude stuff, dont take it to heart. its all for fun.

a great holiday to you.

Quattad.

YES THIS SKIN CAN SEE THE POST HEADING. :D

2009-05-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

okay.

i would like all of you to DIVERT your attention from my previous posts.

as all of their titles are pretty screwed.

because of my previous blogskin LOL.

nothing much happened today but I had a very interesting DotA match with HCI Buddies.

( click click )

Me : ' eh jiehui when your ulti cooldown tell me ah '

JH: ' cool down le '

Me: ' okay you ini you go in and ulti then wave'

JH: ' okay '

( five minutes later )

IceFroggy Dota Guy : ' FIRSTBLOOD!'

( on screen ) Quattad got pwned by 9success9! Assists : raptor 554545256

Me : ( Reviving in 25 seconds ) EH JIEHUI YOU CHAMPION WHY YOU WAVE LIKE 45 DEGREES OFF JAMES AND THEN YOU GO AND REVERSE POLARITY THE 5 CREEPS FOR WHAT? '

JH : ' YOU STAND SO FAR HOW YOU WHACK YOU TELL ME D: '

Me : ' Jiehui Mortred has Blink Strike you know = ='

JH : ' oh. :) '

We lost 7 : 21.

one of the best games i've ever had.

oh right.

another interesting thing happened on Sunday.

if you check the Monday newspapers ( yes newspapers, those firmly compressed thin sheets of toilet paper that you use to check for movie timings and to whack your dog with ), a ( *cough Cheena ) man drowned along the East Coast beach on Sunday.

and apparently, that was the day my church had a baptism.

i didnt go, as i was diligently at home studying ( studying some interesting videos :D )

damn, missed a freaking good show.

okay shall continue with my post another day im like crashing my head onto the laptop every 5 seconds and waking up forgetting what i wanted to type.

Happy Holidays.

P.S. This is Professor Xavier.

Your Powers are Growing, but You cant Control it.

It's important that you...

( BUFFERING )

...become a Hero...

( BUFFERING )

... train yourself to fly...

( BUFFERING )

...in your ass because...

( BUFFERING )

...squatting on a glass table...

( BUFFERING )

...two girls...

( BUFFERING )

...one cup...

( BUFFERING )

... you know what to do. :)

(BEEP)

sd

2009-05-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

a post specially dedicated to YOU. :D

you know who im talking about.

WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE.

HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL.

HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL.

WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY

HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL

HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL.

IF YOU FIND A MAN

WHO'S WORTH A DAMN

AND TREATS YOU WELL.

WELL HE'S A FOOL

JUST LIKE I WAS

HOPE HE GIVES YOU HELL!

WHEN YOU HEAR THIS SONG

I HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL

YOU CAN SING ALONG TOO

HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL

From All American Rejects.

In your face.

Exactly how im feeling now.

and how i want it to be.

_d

2009-05-23T10:41:00.001-07:00

YES MY CBOX IS IN A BEEG MESS CAN SOMEONE JUST TEACH ME HOW TO CLEAR IT. D:

Mixed Emotions

2009-05-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

finally, after so many weeks of preparation ( actually for me only like 3 days before mid years started LOL ), the exams are finally over.

to start off Teh Parteh, i went with Katie, Jingjia, Zhanxuan and Wen Han to Kbox yesterday, after the Physics paper and Emaths Paper 1.

Alright, i can hear the murmurs of you readers of me daring to enter a Kbox with an E8 in Normal Chinese.

And in case you didnt know, my oratical grades werent any better.

well, who said you had to sing Chinese in Kbox? :D

actually, i sang like, half-Chinese half-rubbish.

so i guess that makes me singing in Rubbese?

okay la, basically i needed support from Zhanxuan, because i only sang the part where the song title came out in the chorus LOL.

it was something like this.

( some Cheena lyrics before chorus )

Zhanxuan: 'NI FA RU XUE FENG BEI ZHE YAN LEI!!!' ( kind of hollering throughout the whole song)

Me : 'NI FA RU XUE DENG DEI ZHAI WEN WAY'

compare and contrast between a Normal Chinese and Higher Chinese.

In English,

Zhanxuan : ' Your Hair is Like Snow Till It Holds My Tears ' ( IF ITS WRONG, SORRY THIS IS BASED ON A E8 ENGLISH-CHINESE TRANSLATOR )

Me : ' Your Hair Is Like Snow Wait Till There's Smell Way ( way isnt in Hanyu Pingyin LOL )'

well, i guess that 4 hour tuition for me did help my Chinese.

now i know that i should never enter a Kbox untrained.

thanks alot, you guys who went. it was fun.

watched Angels and Demons ( or Whores and Prostitutes as preferred by a certain someone ), with Kenneth, Leong Hui, Stanton and Hilman.

we decided on the show only on a mere 15 minutes before the show started, due to a debate over whether were should watch Mr W&P here or X Men Orgies ( Origins obviously ).

apparently, things didnt get any better while watching the movie LOL.

i felt like a Movie Understanding Helpline la, because i was the only person who read the damn book.

Stanton read it too, but got the facts all wrong.

Stanton's best line of the day.

' eh jon i read the book i remember Robert Langdon became the Pope in the end right? '

There goes History, F9 LOL.

other than that, i was solving another mystery, not the Path of Illumination, but the Path of the Disappearing Popcorn.

it was so miraculously solved by me in 5 seconds.

Me : ' EH TRISTAN WHY IS LIKE HALF OF THE POPCORN GONE BEFORE THE MOVIE EVEN STARTED. NAO IS LIKE THE FREAKING ADVERTS LA'

Tristan : ' eeh ai whar gawd eeeatt ehlawt' ( fumbling his words through the mass of Sweet Popcorn in his mouth )

haha, well the movie was good.

a great way to start off the relaxation period.

though the paranoia still resides.

alright, gonna go thrash a beeg animated cemented cat in Dynasty Warriors Strikeforce.

Quattad.

AIJJOI

2009-03-09T01:21:00.001-07:00

hey all you lil' homies.

did you feel your IQ falling during the 2 or 3months of me not posting?

i bet some of you are going like ' omg jonathan please post some awe inspiring holy message that will change my life forever once again and make me admire you even more ', or if you're a first timer ' h0ly crap this guyz r gna b gre8 l33d3r i should follow him for the rest of my lief l337!'.
( probably not )

well, besides me doing normal stuff like blowing a condom up to inproportionate sizes or watching my chinese homework spiraling down the Oval Office ( toilet bowl for the English impaired ) , i have pretty much been getting pwn3d by Sec 3 life.

i've got a wonderful and interesting array of teachers this year.

English, Mr Tan Kai Chye, a dude that can easily shoot your **** off with his barrage of stories. starting with classics about Fort Knox to the tiniest details of the stretches on Hitler's scrotum, he really gets the class thinking about 15 minutes into the lesson ( or perhaps its just me thinking about why 3/4 of the class are lying motionless and snoring on their desks ).

Maths, Mr Yong CY, Uncle Retiree who teaches faster than anyone could ever ejahkeulate ( just a spelling variation to make it seem less crude ). with a world record score of 1 Topic every single goddamned lesson. im certain i can see my class's A1s going down the drain as quick as him too.

Chinese, Mr Niu , a Cheena cow that cycles to school on a bicycle with a cool basket at the front ( reminiscent sounds of I Love You China ringing in my head now ). apparently, on his first class, by some OMGWTFBBQ god forsaken luck, he chose me to read the first passage of the chinese textbook. Until now, he's still not convinced that im not from some Jamacian influenced county.

Physics, good old Mr Eng. nothing more to say.

Bio, no changes. Still Woonmenizer.

Chemistry, Veronica Ang. Powerhouse in teaching as well as *$(&*(*#$(.

with such motivational teachers, what else could go wrong?

well, an amazing 6/20 for Amaths, thats what.

and as usual, a FAIL for chinese.

my other subjects are okay though. ( well i guess its just natural talent HAPPY FACE )

okay, gonna post more next time, gotta continue drawing my Einstein's Cow on my Chinese Workbook.

Quattad

Snow Hey Oh

2009-02-01T23:50:00.000-08:00

HEYY OHHHHHHHH LISTEN TO WHAT I SAYYYYY OOOOHHHHHHH

and i say im sick of updating my blog LOL.

SJHOJSODJH

2009-01-12T00:02:00.000-08:00

IIIIIIIIIIII WANNA

dg

2008-12-19T01:13:00.000-08:00

hello. long time since i last posted.

i recently just returned from Perth, Australia.

lots of stuff to do there. i can still smell kangaroo shit on mai feet.

but the best thing of all happened in a cruise around Perth City's harbours.

Captain : 'alright mateys here we are passing the waters of Perth City. tourists have come on Captain Cook's cruises and they have said they enjoyed the scenes of Perth very mu-'

( boat of 5 or more naked women on board passes by )

Captain : '........... oops. '

i should have just grabbed my father's Handycam and take a few rapid shots. a good bunch of Tourism Promoting photos for myself i guess.

and today was one of the worst CCA days of my life. LOL.

i always thought CO was at 2.30. but for some crappy reason it shifted to 1. so i was a goddamned 1 1/2 hours late for full orchestra. i've have bet that the instructor had a rendevous with someone outside of school to all of a sudden change the timing ( or its either my uber crumpled CO timetable lying dormant somewhere within the realms of my cupboard ) .

secondly, i at the same time tio fined for no wearing CO shirt.
eh i tell you the days i wear CO shirt they just dao the ppl who nvr wear then the day i bo chap abit they come lang ga me with $2 fine.

lastly i tio humiliated for getting a tailor made SYF shirt. i know i abit big but dun need laugh right. _|_ ^_^ _|_

okay thats all i guess i shall go wank for 2 hours in the toilet since i completed DMC4.

Quattad.

P.S. I WAN RA3 GTA4 FALLOUT3 DEADSPACE CRYSIS C&C3

aet

2008-12-09T03:43:00.001-08:00

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

LOL!

2008-11-02T06:22:00.000-08:00

GLORY TO GOD.

Thanks

2008-11-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

PS. STEEFOO SYAH I UPDATE OKAY.

hello readers. after weeks of not updating i am going to start posting pretty often ( due to a constant irritating greeting [ EH WHY NEVER UPDATE.] from someone).

okay i shall therefore dedicate this post to HER.

first time i sat beside her. i saw a weird, unconventional Malay girl, glancing at me with that ' apa ini ' look every 0.5 seconds LOL. getting back my test script, i saw a 19/20 on mine, and a 9/20 on hers. YAY.

slowly, she started talking. occasionally making this obnoxious scream when i look at her for no particular reason. = =

then she asked me to lend her some money a few months later. but everytime i asked for it, it was at least delayed 5 days later LOL.

but i guess, she's the closest girl who's a friend i have. the joy i get making fun of her and hearing her squeal when i purposely stare at various parts of her anatomy ( LOL joking ).

thanks for these 2 years. wish you all the best for your future.

Exams

2008-10-22T06:19:00.001-07:00

okay i got back all my results and i will type them out here.

English 64/100

Maths 79/100

Chinese 51/100

Science 82/100

History 61/100

Geography 61/100

Literature 52/100

DnT 51/100

Overall Percentage 68.1/100
Class Position 11/40
School Position 46/320
Chinese pwn me. knn.

DnT SARKS MY _||_ I MAKE MY MODEL SO PERFECTLY THEY STILL GIVE ME QUITE LOW MARKS.

ok la considering the model supposed to be able to hold a large number of cupcakes when mine was able to sit on my palm.

Science. Saya Natural Talent, cnt help pwning lol. i guess my days of watching Farhan's Homemade Movies have paid off in my Reproductive System section.

Second in level ye know.

Humanities okay la. i taking up Geog i hope.

tmr getting streaming results. damn nervous.

ok i go play my Devil May Cry 4

Quattad.

P.S. if anyone has a good price for a Core 2 Quad Processor and a GeForce 9800 Graphics Card please PM me.

asoko

2008-10-08T01:02:00.000-07:00

hello. recently exams has been coming up, so i havent been posting.

so i've been working hard by . . .

1) training my hand coordination by playing PSP
2) working out my time management by trying to kill a Yian Kut Ku in a specific amount of time
3) and lastly, training my memory by remembering the combinations for Dota Recipes.

okay la seriously i got study leh.

even with my PSP screaming to me when its lying on mai cupboard.

but NAO, my efforts have paid off.

tmr last 2 papers, Maths P1 and P2.

then can mass gangbang le.

aiming for Pure Science, Elect Geog.

and i learnt something new from exams.

it makes people screw up.

like how Tristan and Thanapong put Oil Palm Money and Coconut Money respectively when it was obviously Banana Money,

or how some people Magnesium ( Mg) was Melamine.

i kinda screwed up too.

my OAS sheet name i only put my NRIC Number. . __ .

hope its acceptable.

Quattad

MSN

2008-09-21T06:55:00.001-07:00

«®if£er»?????T??[????????][??????]«Jamess-QJZ» [2C'08] ; sweat&blood; The Beautiful Letdown; everytime i fall, music is there for me says:
Question : Gimme reason why humans cannot have a simple diffusion system

Quattad says:
because

Quattad says:
we all

Quattad says:
big buffaloes

Quattad says:
LOL

Speech from the Internals

2008-09-09T00:57:00.000-07:00

people insult me without thinking. they hurt me without hesitation. they make fun of me, not considering my feelings.

one day they will pay. both of us will show them. how it is to be hurt.

yes. they will feel the pain of being neglected and insulted against your own rights.

we will torture them till they know who they are dealing with. do to others what you want others to do to you. since they want to be insulted and have their self esteem like mine destroyed, they will get what they deserve, wont they?

they will. me and you will ensure that. that no one who enjoys hurting another will have another minute in this world. they will pay.

they will. we will vanquish and cleanse mankind of these beasts not deserving of being called humans.

we will. we will.

thank you, Nahtanoj

dont thank yourself, Jonathan.

Be A Champion.

2008-08-17T04:44:00.000-07:00

'sup fags.

didn't blog for the past few days( okay la weeks) cause had various tests, schoolwork etc.

i bet im not the only one that's busy.

especially China.

with the start of the Olympic Games, China has been drained of cash, channeling it to things like computerized fireworks and sounds and a fake voice to support a young pretty girl who cant sing.

but some interesting events have taken place before and during the period.

the news says that an Chinese National had stabbed his female friend's cat, pushed it on his bed back and forth, and finally feeding it with some of his homemade barley.

CAT, if you get my drift.

ok la, it aint that bad.

he had stabbed an American guy who came to watch the Olympics and finally threw himself down a ten storey building.

talk about a wild imagination.

who does he think he is?

some Chinese mentally retarded umbrella-less Mary Poppins, or a white Dark Knight without any gadgets?

talk about the Olympics being a major LEAP ahead for the country, and the performance was RIGHT ON THE HEART.

well, this is what may have happened.

China Man:(squeals) ohmytian! im going to watch the Olympics! in my own country! its good that China understands how many poor and povertised people are not able to take a plane(or maybe doesnt even know how to purchase a ticket), and have made this huge Oreo-O-like structure made out of tree bark for the occasion! and i've personally bought this cake and 16 foot knife to enjoy during the celebrations! ( takes out the knife and shows off)

( an Olympic ticket flies by)

American Man: ( runs toward the China Man) hey! help me get my ticket!

China Man: ( squints at the sky due to his nearly blind eyesight) Na Li? Where is it?

( American Man runs towards the ticket and doesnt notice the 16 foot knife)

American Man: ( huffs) China guy! the ticket is right over yo-..

( runs straight into the knife)

(crowd around gathers and screams)

China Man: aaah! bu shi wo the chuo! its not my fault! I didnt stab him, he ran to my knife!

( crowd runs to apprehend him)

China Man: i will make this up to him! i will get his ticket back and give it to his wife right here!
( points to a poster of Mao Zhidong perched on the nearby wall)

( China Man drops his knife and runs toward a tall building and rushes all the way to the top)

China Man:( pants) aaah! its right there!

( stares at a cloud that looks more like Mario than an Olympic Ticket with glee)

China Man: HAO! FOR GLORY!

( leaps off the building and plummetes toward the ground at 160km/h)

in the end, the China Man was blamed for something he didnt do.

even after death.

truly this Beijing Olympic Games is really bringing out the champion in people.

well, people dont care about your works when you're living, but talk about it when you die.

and champions are emerging every day.

maybe even next door.

watch out, Quattad.

Harder Better Faster Stronger

2008-07-30T05:47:00.001-07:00

YES ACES DAY.

DO IT HARDER MAKE IT BETTER DO IT FASTER MAKES US STRONGER

2008-07-25T20:47:00.000-07:00

&('.'&

Abit Oily

2008-07-09T05:01:00.000-07:00

hello readers. i think its time for another inspirational post from a godlike form like me.

i recently read in the newspapers that the oil prices have finally dropped after a drastic increase from 100 USD to about 150 USD.

and the amount the generous government has subsized is...!

( big roll of drums here)

(claps and applauses)

a goddamned 4 cents.

wow then it will only take me about 27 more years to buy a PSP.

how wonderful.

i think its time we found another way to power our mechanical motorized vehicles.

with a more SATISFYING and ENERGY-EFFICIENT source.

with the astounding advancement in technology and so on, i wonder why scientists haven't thought of this.

ITS CLEAN AND GREEN.

well actually white.

harnessing the power of the little DNA-filled tadpoles in our seminal fluids isn't such a bad idea.

its both elating and it saves the earth at the same time.

with the human population breeding like dogs these years, it wont be that hard.

but some considerations have to be taken note of.

Singaporean A: ( pants ) eh walao i no energy already leh.

Singaporean B: walao you. who ask you dont want to get experience.

Singaporean A: hello. i have been training since 18 years old. but they ask me kojoh for three days straight leh. because my car is Mercedes. a lot of petrol.

maybe use foreigners?

Tourist A: ( grins ) WOW! Singapore is really a Garden City! Really. Its just so relaxing for me to just walk in. Changi Airport is so efficient now. Just go through the barrier and...

( Airport tune sounds through the Intercom)

Airport Person: "may i have your attention please? all male foreigners between the age of 10 to 100, please proceed left from the counter. due to the sudden increase in oil prices, Singapore has found an alternate way to process energy for cars. please select your doujin of choice and head to the Mansturbating Lobby just further up ahead. thank you for your attention. have a nice wank."

( Tourist A suspiciously eyes a corridor which funny sounds are emitting from)

Tourist A: No. Resist. I have to save these up for my Geylang trip later. Resist. Re...

( Airport Tune again)

Airport Person: " forgot to mention. for the elderly who require a much stronger aid, there are live aids waiting at the counter at the lobby."

Tourist A: lets go.

but this could cause fights. even among households.

( Son cries over father's body in coffin)

Son: ( weeps ) DAD! dont die! NOOOO!!!!

( Mother goes to hold Son)

Mother: dont worry Son. Dad is in heaven now, watching over all of us.

Son: NOOOOOOOOOOO! DAD!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVENT RETURNED ME MY 10 CENTS! NOOO!.....

Well, in any case, Earth is going to be spent soon enough.

Savour whatever time you have left.

Since money's not important in heaven, why dont you give it to me?

never mind. i already took it.

Quattad

You're Pitiful

2008-07-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

My life is brilliant.

Your life's a joke.

You're just pathetic.

You're always broke.

You house isnt that beautiful.

Really ain't impressing me.

You're suffering from the illusions of

Adequacy.

You're Pitiful.

You're Pitiful.

You're Pitiful its true.

Never had a date.

That you couldn't inflate.

And you smell repulsive too.

What a bummer be in you.

You just can't dance.

And forget romance.

Everybody you know still calls you

Farty Pants.

LOL i today nothing interesting to post sorry.

So i got to spam this shit.

Quattad.

NEWS.

2008-07-03T05:52:00.000-07:00

Xbox360

“Must... obey... Bill Gates... buy more games... Vista is good... Apple is evil...”
~ You on the xBox after playing it for a few minutes

“Bwahahahahahahahaha!! Dance for me, minion! DANCE!! YOU SHALL DAN-”
~ Bill Gates on the previous quote

“-CRITICAL ERROR ”
~ BSoD interupting Bill Gates

The Xbox is the greatest (speaking in terms of size) product Microsoft has made so far, and the second worst (behind Windows Vista).

It's successful because if you don't buy one immediately, Bill Gates will destroy your entire neighborhood with his death ray, and enslave your souls for eternity.

So far it has sold 12 million units worldwide, and scientists theorize that over 7 of those systems actually work.

Their work has, however, been largely discredited, and they have been accused of accepting bribes from Microsoft to claim the figure is that high.

Xbox games are usually created by locking a bunch of nerdy programmers in a small room with several computers and nothing to eat.

The games are taken out and put in nice boxes when everyone in the room has been dead for a week. If there is evidence of cannibalism, the game is sold as a Platinum Hit.

The xBox 360 was created by Bill Gates after the massive success of the original xBox.

He built it because the original xBox had several critical design flaws. The console occasionally didn't crash when it was turned on, sometimes it was possible to make a game work for more than 5 seconds, and the shards of plastic that flew everywhere when the system exploded if you managed to make a game work weren't always fatal.

Thus, the xBox 360 was developed.

Logo of an Xbox360; first an X, then a square Box, and a 360 degrees circle.

Sayings of Today

2008-07-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

nothing much to type today. just GG to our geog.

and screw 2/6 LOL.

giving you the minute daily dosage of immortal intelligence,

Naruto Uzumaki

Naruto is oftentimes believed to be gay with Sasuke, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Gaara, Chouji, Kiba, Orochimaru, Jiraya, Itachi, the third Hokage, Konohamaru, and many pedophiles who randomly appear throughout the series.

Naruto is of a clan of Southern Red Indians. However the general population does not realize this and as a result vast numbers of small children have been admitted to mental hospitals across the nation.

Naruto's story begins with a humungous rabbit being stuffed within his stomach and the scar being glued in a swirly shape with Super Glue.

Shino Aburame
Also known as the Bug Guy or Bug Man by those who can't be bothered to name him.

He wears his large coat to illegally sell DVDs to people, although most the DVDs are about bugs ironically.

Shino keeps bugs in his body, to make him all wiggly and jiggly.

Singapore Zero Wing Rhapsody

The Straits Times: In A.D. 2008, political war was happening

Chee Soon Juan: What happen?

Jeyaretnam: Someone set us up the libel case.

Low Thia Khiang: We get signal.

Chiam See Tong: Main screen turn on.

Chee Soon Juan: It's you!??!!1!!11oneone!!?

Lee Kwan Yew: How are you gentlemen?

Lee Kwan Yew: All your parliament seats are belong to us.

Lee Kwan Yew: You are on the way to bankruptcy!

Chee Soon Juan: What you say!?

Lee Kwan Yew: You have no chance to appeal make your time.

Lee Kwan Yew: HAHAHA!

Chee Soon Juan: Take off every party newsletter.

Chee Soon Juan: You know what you doing.

Chee Soon Juan: Withraw bank accounts.

Chee Soon Juan: For great democracy!

Singapore Armed Forces

Consisting of millions of loyal and dedicated soldiers, the military of Singapore, known as the Singapore Armed Forces or the SAF, is the most powerful army in the world and has never lost any battles (because it has not fought in any).

The secret to their zero military defeat record (despite not being in any battles at all) is rumoured to be attributed to their assisted inception and development by the Israeli Defence Force (IDF). It is also rumoured that many military commanders are actually the by-products of an Israeli military experiment gone wrong.

The military is also famed for giving out educational bursaries called SAFOS (Special Awards For Ordinary Singaporeans) to 18 year olds in an attempt to "bond their souls" to the military for life.

With tea sessions which cost more than a million dollars each to organize, the military does an apparently successful job of convincing the general population that a soldier's life is a glorious and glamourous one;

still, as one recruit interviewed by the local newspaper Today in 2007 remarked, "[...] actually we're just all there for the imba siew mai served at the tea reception lah."

PSP

The PSP, or Porn Station Portable (name was picked because of the system being used by many teens is a Sony handheld system, famously known for having one screen rather than the double... um... ness of the two-screened DS, which screws people's minds, made by the shit rival company Nintendo.

The PSP is rumoured to be a gaming device. This is a myth; it is actually an mobile phone without the "phone" part.

Universal Media Disk is a backronym for UMD. This term refers to the fact that the UMD will only run on the PSP and will universally be useless for any other machine, player, or console. Sony views this as a personal accomplishment, and laughs at those who do not see it their way.

The effectiveness of the UMD was questioned in 1984, after a number of Japanese soldiers had been among the fatalities of their own UMD's. In recent years, UMD's have apparently been re-marketed in a number of Eastern European countries as an effective, low cost, drain unclogger.

Below is a picture of a professonal Sony technological execute showing the functions of the PSP

enough for today. going to watch samurai champloo nao.

have a good laugh, Quattad.

Self

2008-06-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

sometimes i just feel alone you know.

like im not of this world.

as everyone shows through their actions and words.

like no one regards me as their fellow friend.

not saying anything when im here and

whispering and glacing at me when im there.

i really wonder.

My Chocolate Factory

2008-06-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

hello everyone.

i did not go to school today.

due to yesterday's pattaya seafood noodles.

or maybe because of seeing Loke's face after 1 month of freedom.

counting yesterday and today, i must have at least bombed Hiroshima 10 times.

the pain is still lingering in my stomach.

and i still have tuition later.

screw Thailand food man.

it sucks to have the runs when you can enjoy a nice day outside swimming.

oh shit. i think i feel a wave coming on.

Quattad

Because Its THRILLER!

2008-06-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

hello readers. after 4 fast weeks of meek holiday ( or should i say long suffering due to everyone's great heap of homework), school is going to reopen again.

well theres nothing we can do about it, so we may as well enjoy whatever time we have left before we are locked back in again.

im here not to complain about our routine of life rolling over and over again.

BECAUSE ITS THRILLER!

remind you of anything?

Thriller is one of Michael Jackson's most well known song/video to date. It is set on the occult of creatures from the netherworld coming back to life and haunting him and some other extra girl.

Judging from the name of the song, I think it supposed to scare you.

But surprisingly, throughout the whole video, I was trying not to wake up my parents with my laughter.

Why?

Firstly, the video opens with a scene of MJ turning into a werewolf and scaring some girl off in a movie.

Seriously, at first i thought they had replaced his head with a fish's. The eyes look extremely weird in a way, because werewolfs depicted from ancient times dont have fish eyes that stick out of its face like tennis balls. Then he suddenly turns into this big mass of fur, which i really dont comprehend.

well, it does THRILL me, but it thrills my conscience instead of my body. if werewolfs were like that, then what are we having for Fish Head Curry?

Lol then everyone would become a werewolf or some other extraterrestrical ghoulie like in the
video.

How would we fight them off then?

Which makes the second reason why i find it so hilarious.

Well, before that, the song's quite nice, but then they walk past a graveyard at midnight and all those rubbish start rising from the dead.

A graveyard? A few metres away from the cinema in the midst of a busy metropolian city?

Not likely.

And even if there WAS a graveyard ( copy and paste from on top), who would be stupid enough to walk past it at midnight?

Following that, the dead start rising and attacking the two of them, groaning orgasms as they walk ( another reason why i laughed).

This is the funniest part.

Michael Jackson turns all green in the face and all of them start dancing this MJ dance.

yes, all the zombies werewolfs medusas sphinxes skeletons mummies banshees etc.

LOL a new way of exocising satanic forms.

so they're saying, next time if we enter a haunted vincinity...

( floor creaks)

Kid A: eh, you want to wake up the whole town is it. thats the tenth time.

(Kid B on the verge of breaking down)

Kid B: Im sorry man. its just that the chilly feeling of this haunted house makes me want to pee, and when i want to pee, i cant control my movements and when i am scared at the same time...

( water patch emerges on Kid B's pants)

Kid A: OKOK STFU I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANY MORE. just keep quiet for the time being.

( Kid A and B move slowly up the stairs of the house)

Kid B: by the way, do you know where's the bedroom where the ghost resides in?

Kid A: yea, i think after we climb this flight of steps, we'll be right in front of...

( after climbing the last step they end up some room filled with satanic drawings on the floor and walls)

Kid B:(cries) EH SCREW YOU LA WTF IS THIS?

(Kid A looks at the back of the blueprint of the house)

Kid A: oh shit i think this is for my sister's new Barbie House Set.

( Kid A takes deep breaths and looks Kid B)

Kid A: don't worry. as a second measure, i brought the book on the places of this house. well, lets look under satanic drawings on the wall and floor and blood all around the place.

(flips the book to designated page)

Kid A: oh. no.

" THIS IS THE ROOM WHERE ALL THE SPIRITS ARE SUMMONED DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT ENTERING THIS ROOM WELL IF YOU DO DONT EVER BRING A STUPID EGOISTIC KID AND A BOY WHO WITH INSUFFICIENT BOWEL CONTROL INTO THIS ROOM BECAUSE IF YOU DO A WHOLE HORDE OF NETHERWORLD MONSTERS WILL TURN UP IN THE EXACT SPOT WHERE YOU ARE READING THIS WELL SUPPOSING YOU ALREADY FLIPPED TO THIS PAGE MEANS THAT YOU'RE ALREADY AT THAT PLACE WELL HAVE FUN"

( at this moment a whole army of demons and creatures (you may want to add in teachers) appears in the circle of summoning)

Kid A and B: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MMMMMMMMMMMMY GODDDDDDDDDDDD.

( all creatures move nearer both of them with every step)

Kid A: dddddddont worrry ffffollow mmeeee.

( starts creaking his neck to the right for every beats of 2 in counts of 4)

To continue on the story go to this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8 and skip to 8.30 until 10.36 and substitute Michael Jackson with the two of them.

but on the whole, the song and video are quite nice actually. giving some added entertainment was a bonus.

if possible hear other songs by him. quite the exquisite voice.

well i gtg going to get some birthday presents for some of my friends.

PS. JAMES I WANT PS2 PLEASE

P.S.S. O ya if anyone has a ps2 with a memory card and two controllers and is willing to exchange for an xbox with 8 games for a period of time please tell me at my msn jonathanquah@msn.com. Games include Fable:The Lost Chapters, Halo and Crimson Skies: The Road to Revenge. All highly entertaining and award-winning games.

Quattad

凸^-^凸

2008-06-19T10:06:00.001-07:00

??^-^??

DJMAX owned me

2008-06-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

hello. nothing much today. just went to tuition at 5. rest of the day just trying to make my ******* CPU run the PS2 emulator ( the end result a chain of mixed vulgarities).

but what is more important is.

DJMAX PORTABLE 2!

whoever out there who has a modified/original PSP Phat/Slim with a Memory Card must

immediately buy/download this game.

dont play audition, thats for retards who don't have pure skill at Music Creation games.

want to object?

ok. this is Auditon.

look at how mindbendingly simple it

is. no kick at all. and the characters

look HORRIBLE. the clothes dont

make a difference to your skills, its

just for jackass shit time.

look at THIS.

look at the buttons properly.

look simple to you?

well then watch the video i screenshoted this from.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAn-9EChie8

Blythe Hard Mode 6B

Even i cant play it.

DJMAX even has missions to do, and around 60 of them, not just showing stupid figurines prancing and spinning about to lousy tunes while the player falls asleep hitting the directional buttons which are easier to press than flushing the toilet.

does Audition get you on adrenaline? no.
DjMAX? Yes

is Audition filled with nonsensical stupidity? yes.
DjMAX? No. You need skill and training to play this game.

does the accessories in Audition do just nothing but colour digitalised barbie dolls which make you puke after seeing the lousy computer artwork? Yes.
DjMAX? No. They add your experience and money and they're cool and slick.

so STOP PLAYING RETARDED GAMES LIKE AUDITION AND MA/GAYPLESTORY!

instead play games like DJMAX! O2JAM!

Games that get you going!

NOT REDUCING YOUR ALREADY LOW IQ!

BE A MAN!

DO THE RIGHT THING!

Quattad.

First uTube

2008-06-16T08:56:00.000-07:00

my first Youtube video completed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0xNVldjS4A&watch_response

please comment and rate after watching.

SAF aint So Always Fun

2008-06-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

hello readers. it has been 4 days since i last posted, since i was busy at a family chalet.

not a chalet actually. more of a little shack.

but less of the J.J. touching and hordes of invading mosquitoes.

a few days ago, an SAF Army Soldier died while in jungle training. He was a pilot-in-training.

well, his dream is achieved, since hes now flying in the sky. literally.

but coincidentally, another soldier died because of training a few days before the P-I-T's death.

Man, they should allow PSPs during training. That should spur the NS guys on.

Was it because of over exertion of exercise?

Soldier: Sir! I have ran the 200km run all the way from the camp to the DVD shop you have instructed me to go to and have purchased the DVD you requested!

( passes the latest Erotica Fantasy 5 to Commando)

Commando: YES! ALL MY TROUBLES FROM THIS LIFE ARE GONE!

( Soldier notices a suspicious bulge rising on the Commando's pants)

Soldier: ( heaves) Sir, can i have a glass of water. Please.

Commando: All right. You deserve something. But before that...

Soldier: Yes Sir?

Commando: Could you run off to the nearby convienience store to get a bottle of water of water so i can reward you?

Soldier: ( whines) SIR!?

Commando: comeon you weak asshole. its a bare 10 mile walk.

Soldier: ( begins to falter) but SIR, you PROMISED?

Commando: that was then, this is now. now GO!

maybe.

but for years, Singapore has been criticising army people about them visiting brothels in other countries and getting AIDS 30 years later.

the Army should use this to their advantage.

they should like, give them a goal at the end of their jungle trekking.

like a hentai DVD on the tree at the final destination.

that should keep their spirits going haha.

countering the dying-during-field-training-because-of-dehydration shouldnt be that hard to solve.

they should invent a new kind of machine.

like this.

Soldier A: eh, hurry up leh. i goddamned thirsty already leh.

( Soldier B switches on machine)

Soldier B: STFU. we have been trekking for 4 hours, and i havent had any water since. so shuddap and let me concentrate.

( tries to pee as hard as he can into the funnel)

Soldier A: ( laughs) LOL eh your dick abit small leh.

( Soldier B crotch-faces Soldier A)

Soldier B: OI! WAN ME FACESHOT YOU ANOT?!

Soldier A: okokok. relax la brother. but i have to ask leh. next time right, how to have sex ah you? yours like a little pickle.

( Soldier B tears off Soldier A's pants)

Soldier B: ( points at Soldier's A's small dangling thing) HAHA. yours like peanut like that. you should go doctor POWER UP.

Soldier A: say some more you find my bullet flying out of your ass.

Soldier B: okok la. walao eh i still no fireman leh.

Soldier A: lol ok la i try help.

( sticks a few leaves into Soldier A's asshole)

Soldier B: AAAAAAAAAAAH!

( sounds of liquid swirling down a funnel is heard)

Soldier A: ( rejoices) WE ARE SAVED!

( machine groans)

Soldier B: ( zips his pants) eh, whats wrong.

( Soldier A uncaps machine cover)

Soldier A: oh KNNCBB. no battery.

some things seem so simple, but yet so complex.

despite the multi purposefulness of our under parts of the body.

but one day, we will harness the power of the private part.

believe and watch.

well i think i better go now my hands are itching to play Jackass.

Quattad.

California Dreamin

2008-06-12T20:28:00.001-07:00

All the leaves are brown

And the sky is grey

Longing for a Walk

On a winter's day

I'll be safe and warm

If i was in LA

CALIFORNIA DREAMING!

ON SUCH A WINTER'S DAY!

Barrack Clinton

2008-06-11T06:46:00.000-07:00

hello. four days since i last posted. kind of busy during this week. had chinese tuition on monday and tuesday, and maths tuition today.

not to mention a few nice games of pool. ( STFU JAMES)

on to the main news this week.

i recently read in a newspaper that Hillary Clinton had forsaken her post as President to Barack Obama, the first ever African American to achieve that stature.

you ask me why?

no, its not because of the parody video of her having sex with Obama to Umbrella's tune. dont watch it. only people with ownage natural talents can watch it.

Ok la dont cry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0rSeI0nhjU, but remember, you're still a loser and inferior to me. =D

Apparently, Obama's number of supporters had totalled to be colossal as compared to hers, so she gave up and endorsed the new President, asking her supporters to elect and support him in any way they can.

She should have used her bodily assets to gain more voters, if you know what i mean.

But she probably did, considering her voting number's sudden drop in the middle of the election.

Talk about a quick and efficient natural flash bomb.

However, there is something more sinister at work here.

Her husband, Bill Clinton, was the 42nd President of the United States.

Before you go and call the American Embassy to complain about bloodline biasedness, let me draw your attention to a very interesting event.

Bill had been under lawsuit for sexually assualting several of his staff, and even having sexual relationships with them.

Its amazing how some people can juggle work and entertainment so easily.

And also, Hillary had caught her husband in one of his silenced playtimes.

A rough enactment.

( door opens)

Hillary: Honey? Have you signed all the forms yet?

Bill: Err...

( stares at his secretary sucking his 0l0 under the table)

Bill: (sweats profusely) I think so honey. Here you go.

( hands Hillary a stack of forms)

Hillary: Good work honey.

(steps on a puddle of unindentified liquid)

Hillary: i think you spilled some barley here, hubby.

( Bill's eyes widens in shock, takes a tissue and starts wiping the fading whitish patch on his leather jeans)

Bill: Oh... Could you clean it up for me, hun? Im kind of busy right now...

( 0l0 begins to pulse)

Hillary: ( smiles ) anything for you, Bill. do i hear something squelching at your table?

(bang bang bang)

Bill: UUUUUUUUUUUH! uuhm. no honey, it must have been from outside.

( eyes Bill intently)

Hillary: ok honey, i believe you. but can you explain what Im seeing from your favourite mirror
behind you?

(Bill turns and look his reflected horrified face)

Bill: Err. Specialised staff bonuses?

From that day onwards, Bill Clinton has never stood within 20 metres of a mirror, and can be seen always going into the cubicle when he needs to pee.

For once, darkness has triumphed over light.

A new dawn of era, or the continuation of the dark old one?

Watch and Wank.

Quattad.

Reconciliation

2008-06-09T23:45:00.000-07:00

i haven't been home in a while.

you don't have to say a word.

i cant wait to see you smile.

wouldn't miss it for the world.

Despise

2008-06-07T23:53:00.001-07:00

my parents hate me.

for no apparent reason.

they regret that they even gave birth to me.

they think that i am a loser, with no good attributes.

they dislike whatever i do, and criticise they people i mix with.

cursing them, insulting them.

when their friends are no screwing better than pieces of shit.

I AM A LOUSY SON, AM I?

A LOUSY BROTHER?

A LOUSY FRIEND?

A RETARDED PIECE OF SCREWED UP CRAP?

they only care for my brother and my sister.

anything wrong with them, i always get the blame.

especially my father.

i really hate it.

I HATE IT!

I HATE BEING THE OLDEST SON!

I ALWAYS GET MY SELF ESTEEM LOWERED AND MY CONFIDENCE DIMINISHED!

BECAUSE I AM THE ELDEST!

i try so hard to make them proud, and they treat me like this.

take away everything la.

TAKE LA.

i really dont understand why they hate me so much.

until i started to talk to myself.

its like i dont belong in this family.

talk about being a black sheep.

i think im going to break down again.

the temptation's rising.

i hope all of you readers have a better day than i have

and more understandable parents.

Illusions

2008-06-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

we smile, we cry, we curse, we die.

from birth to death, we course through a stream, being hit by whatever splashes of events that overcome us.

be it happiness, pain, despair, sadness.

is life just a passageway to another euphoria of dimensions?

are we just drifting along, allowing fate to take hold of anything we have never thought would happen?

is love just a diversion? just a kind of feeling that cannot be dispelled in these shells in which are born with?

unanswerable questions. unquestionable answers.

Melody

2008-06-06T03:43:00.000-07:00

I just got my new guitar.

PWN3D.

Takemine CR-107 Acoustic Guitar

With Nashville's Capo, Dunlop's String Conditioner, 4 Picks and a Guitar Case

All together $361.

Not bad leh.

The sound goddamned good.

Should be because of my natural talent.

But also the guitar's workmanship damn pro, the dynamics super sui.

Once again, thank you Matthew!

P.S. James, why do you like Cedar panties so much?

Quattad.

People Smokin' People Dyin

2008-06-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

nice phrase from my friend.

People need to grow up man.

Smoking shows your wisdom.

Spending money to kill yourself.

LAWL.

Cleansing

2008-05-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

Heal The World

Make It A Better Place

For You And For Me and The Entire Human Race

by eliminating stupid Taiwanese drama serials!

they are retarded, delivering false hopes to young minds and corrupting those who watch them!

if you know someone, a friend or a family member who is doing this,

1) Punch him/her directly on the eyes

2) Destroy the TV/Ipod/PSP/Computer with a hammer/flamethrower/zanpakuto/portable hairdryer/any other things that can be utilised as weapons

3) Immediately burn the remnants and stuff it into some hole you see.

4)Pick the person up, perform any harmful actions to any part of his/her body. ( yesyes have fun)

5) Repeat Step 4 ten times

6)Interrogate the person on why they are trying to commit suicide by watching meaningless flashes of light

7) If they reply that its just for fun, punch him/her

If they reply that its nice to watch, slap his/her face

Any other acceptable answers with substinent retorts will earn a full castration/ligation

8) Send that person to the nearest rehabilitation centre you can find

9)Instill this very helpful instructions into that person to carry of The Cleansing.

Save the Drama-Addicted Retards, Save The World.

Desolation

2008-05-29T06:12:00.000-07:00

this poem depicts today rather accurately.

"she caresses my face tightly

leaving her handmark on my face.

as i my eyes overflow with tears

her insulting words pierce my heart

like an arrow

eradicating all the confidence i have left

she bangs the door and exits the room

and her face appears in my head

her warm smile and neverending gift of presents

hiding a vile and vicious force in her

waiting to be unleashed.

eyes

red and puffy

i take out a sharp penknife

and slit my wrists

trying to clear her

blood that runs in my veins.

her words on

how i have failed her

how i have dishonored her

reverberate throughout the room

as i remain captive within these four walls

the only place i have ever been and known

a living hell.

sounds of footsteps echo and the door opens

and i know i am vindicated once again.

by the woman who has given life to me"

Anonymous from the Internet

How touching.

Quattad

Depression

2008-05-28T02:13:00.000-07:00

I got 5th in class.

Average of 69.8.

Many people have praised me.

But i dont feel any satisfaction from these results.

I don't know why.

Examinations dont feel very meaningful.

And some subjects can't even be utilized at all in real life.

Reality is totally different from schoolwork and papers.

So what if you are 1st in class but no one talks to you, no one pays attention to you, and you feel all alone, with no guidence or help or whatsoever.

Its no use.

Singapore's like that.

Study is priority first.

But we have to see beyond this shaded veil.

Whats the point of studying so hard when it cant be used at all.

They should make us study more useful subjects.

Like coping with insults from others.

We continue to engulf and overwhelm over brain with theories and formulas while children are out there dying of AIDS, earthquakes happening at unpredicted times, tornadoes forming out of nowhere, and dead bodies stuck in cryogenic ice chambers for maybe a few hundred years.

And after so long, death is still decapicitating the souls of innocent ones.

Millions of years after, humans are still awestruck at this most deadly enemy.

The most obvious one.

And the most unavoidable one.

Still,despite technological advancements and medical miracles, terminal diseases still swarm over thousands of people, setting a countdown in their bodies.

Help is needed here.

And all we are doing is writing on deforested homes of many different lifeforms.

Most intelligent organisms, but most unhelpful and inhuman.

Destroy, Disaccate, Dismember.

Quattad.

Holiday Blues

2008-05-26T03:32:00.002-07:00

homework homework homework LOKE and more homework.

are holidays really holidays, or did teachers make them to give us false hopes and in turn fling at us more test papers and revision notes?

they never give us a chance to rest, driving us like slaves and burying us in a ton of assessment sheets.

even if the homework is totally of no use in our daily lives.

as jonan quotes, " why do i have to learn algebra? its not like im gona use algebra, algepanties or alg-strings at work."

humorous but fully true.

recently, we have been given a booklet to write 500 words from some porn videos that each of us had received in our thumbdrives and to explain and cum up with a sentance for each and every phrase by Loke.

lol ok sorry from BBC's website.

my greatest innermost condolences to those who have failed english, have fun with the 750 words.

well, what could be more educational than choking us with this vast piece of nonsensical meaning?

except that it doesn't really help us in our homes, work, elections or brothels.

take this scene for example.

Whore:" Oh, you're being too rough!"

Student:"Aaaah, i haven't felt this great in so long!"

(makes relaxing and at the same time disturbing noises)

Whore:" how do you like me now?!"

Student:"pretty much, considering the suspense and anxiety created when your face is silhouetted in the darkness."

(immediately the previously continuous squelching sounds stops)

Whore:" what was that?"

Student:"oh nothing. just something i have learnt from my previous english class. well, as you can see, when you are hiding your face in the dark while giving me satisfaction, this heightens the scene's tension as there is a tinge of doubt and unknowingness in the background. at the same time, the foreground should also be submerged in shadows to give a greater impact on the eg reader/watcher/editor/sex addicts. also, words of a certain calibre must be used to eliminate
any feelings of unkemptness on the bed. to be able to achieve this kind of echelon, constant support must be ushered towards this area, and have i told you about..."

(door slams open and cries can be heard echoing along the corridor)

The Next Day

(student charges into staff room)

Student:" TEACHER! COME OUT!"

(a loud groaning sound emits from a table)

Teacher:" Yes, what the hell do you want?"

Student:" you told me that the phrases that i learnt during the holidays would make me cool and sexy!"

Teacher:" Indeed it does."

Student:" Then WHY DID THOSE PHRASES MAKE ME LOSE MY FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND?"

Teacher:" because it only sounds cool when i use it. and sexy when i am totally nude."

( cricket chirping in the background)

Student:" ok forget it. now you owe me another prostitute."

Teacher:" aaah, now thats an area where my help is most welcome."

Student:" really teacher? then where are we going tonight for some good old clean fun?"

Teacher:"my house. dont worry, im pure."

(Student stabs himself in the heart)

well, Praise the Lord for extra hell added into the lake of fire.

signing off, Quattad.

Holiday Blues

2008-05-26T03:32:00.001-07:00

Man In The Mirror

2008-05-25T03:05:00.001-07:00

Im starting with the man in the mirror.

Bang Beat It

2008-05-22T05:56:00.000-07:00

today usual day. nth much to talk about.

more importantly,

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO PLAY VAN HALEN's BEAT IT GUITAR SOLO

ITS GODDAMNED CHIM AND DIFFICULT TO PLAY.

I CANT UNDERSTAND A SINGLE CRAP FROM THE TABS.

IF ANYONE KNOWS GO TO http://www.guitarmasta.net/j/jackson,_michael/263771.html

AND TEACH ME.

BEFORE I BEAT YOUR IT.

And maybe going to HWACHONG's Class Party.

Going to meet YY, ZX and the Horny Japanese Dragon.

Mass orgy in tents and chalets.

How Exciting.

Screw it i just remembered i havent filed my chinese file properly.

ALL L.C.S. fault.

Have a good time trying to pwn me. ( which you definitely wont)

Quattad

MYE p0w3r

2008-05-21T05:25:00.000-07:00

Got back every single subject results

English 55/100 C5 ( SHUT UP ITS ALL EDDIE's FAULT )

Maths 77/100 A1 ( stfu kenneth)

Chinese 51/100 C6(SUCK ON MY CHOCOLATE SALTY BALLS =D)

Science 82/100 A1( PWN3D pOw3r)

History 61/100 B4 ( eh 25% of the class failed )

Geography 82/100 A1 ( ok la i read maps better than Kenneth)

Literature 66/100 B3 ( EH 40% OF THE CLASS FAILED AT THIS OK )

Home Econs 79/100 A1 ( o yea 2 cups of semen and 2 egg whites)

OVERALL i think ok la.

I want 3ple Sciences so Science and Maths criteria cleared.

CHINESE AND ENGLISH SCREW.

Pure Geog is my choice, so can la.

Joel thinks i can get Top 10, and i hope i can.

I NEED A NEW ELECTRIC GUITAR FOR MORE MELODIOUS TAPPING.

dno why so many ppl cry. not like the end of their life like that mah.

People who have done badly, or have not done up to their expectations, continue to work hard, the whole class is right behind you to cheer you on.

People who have done well, keep up the good work, dont get cocky ( as someone likes to quote " AIYA THIS TERM SLACK ONE LA") and do your best to achieve your goal.

Phrase of the Week - あなたの母は髪. ( your mum no hair)(a na ta no okasan SOMETHING SOMETHING)

Signing off, Quattad

PS. Please go to Youtube and watch Bobby Lee. Its highly educational. ( for a special group of ppl right James XD)

For You Only

2008-05-20T02:58:00.000-07:00

its a despicable cycle. we do hurt to others who will in turn do worse things to us.

why do we harbour these various kinds of hatred for no apparent meaning?

what is the reason for being prejudiced against certain people for something they are not to be blamed of?

do you even know the pain when you insult someone, the depression they feel when they are shot in the heart by these piercing words?

the uncertain doubt of whether they are fit for their friends or not of a certain social calibur that everyone likes to hog to?

you may think you are of a very perfect form, whom has no faults or whatsoever?

sadly, you are the one who will be facing judgment in the end.

so what if we arent perfect? so what if we are different in size, height, race, social status, intelligence?

the true beauty is how you are wonderfully created, how nature has given you sight and sounds to experience the amazing miracles of the world.

so what if you are better looking than any one of us? once you have a black heart, those features will slowly be corroded, leaving you worse than those whom you have criticised.

take a good look at yourself in the mirror, and then talk to me about who is the one who should be forlorn and rejected by the world.

you know who you are.

Iron Irony

2008-05-19T06:42:00.001-07:00

went to watch Iron Man with James, Thaddeus and Jerome today.

they gave it a rating of PG Violence, but that isnt really suitable.

it should be on the advertisements CBKNNFCKYOU100 Extreme Violence Extreme Sexual Nudity Extreme Sexual Scenes Extreme Orgasmic Moments Extreme Nonsensical Change of Scenes Extremely Long Credits and I Dont Know How So Many Ratings Can Fit Onto The Small Print At The Bottom Of This Ad.

fine, Tony Stark talks with some chick from the press, i forgot for what. and all of a sudden, the scene changes into two of them having intense sex on a bed that looks like its going to collapse. i have heard of sex to sort out arguments, but this is a bit too rough. XD

considering the 9/11 incident, i know terrorists are kind of stupid to be blind enough to crash a plane right through the big WTC building, but at least they are smarter than the pilot who was in there. the terrorists in I.M. were like having a Happy Meal outside while Iron Man-Man and his good baldy friend were noisily constructing a gigantic robotic metal suit with over a thousand wires and screws and running on some nuclear power. how nice of the terrorists to give them such a quiet working environment. in the end Iron Man got out of the seemingly long cave by purely Pepsiman stunts. surely they hadnt thought of the hollow and small back of their dungeon leading to freedom.

im not joking when i say that the credits are longer than Farhan's penis erected. it nearly ran for over 10 minutes, with the accompaniment of some classical piece. very thoughtful of them to help bore us to sleep. and the ending of it was just some picture of a YOU-ga.

overall it was alright, but i would have liked to see more blood and killing in the movie. no one likes to see 2 hours of a man with an iron crotch screwing some whore on the streets ( ok la james i know its exceptional for you).

well, got to sleep.

Quattad

PS next time stop passing the stupid nachos around. now i have cheese all over my bag.

GAYPLE

2008-05-17T05:40:00.000-07:00

GAYPLESTORY IS FOR FAGGOTS!

and curse the stupid BBQ. couldnt get a single hotdog with more than 10 ppl having a mass orgy at the BBQ Pit.

Mas Selamat DMW

2008-05-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

RIGHTFULLY COPYRIGHTED BY ME. JAMES' IS CONTRIBUTED BY ME.

The Amazing Blaze

2008-05-16T01:07:00.001-07:00

YES JAMES WHAT NICE WORDS YOU HAVE PUT ON THE BACK OF MY BLOG

hello. firstly, let me apologise for the words at the back of my blog. yesyes i know its very funny to have such a beautiful description of a yellow sponge's underwear splattered across the webpage. this is due to the mistake of the very interesting individual as mentioned above. it will be rectified as soon as possible, so dont go crying over the minute corruption of my awe-inspiring online diary. do not worry, i know my insights are greatly required.( James, if you are reading this, thanks for yesterday, but for now, SCREW YOU! =D)

back to business.

tampered eggs, a lot of money, a waste of time, nonsensical instructions? no, im not talking about Kenneth's future Gynaecology Clinic. As Temasekians fully know, im referring to W.T. and her troupe of students' Singapore Amazing Race. Worksheets filled with stupid mix-arounds and Sudoku, eggs that were obviously not going to handle 4 hours of cross country-ing over the whole island of Singapore in your hand, pocket, bag, or other vague parts of the human anatomy ( which i wont be going into). Powered with the help of 320 students and the morning crowd cramming into a 6-7 metre long buses and the reminder that we had 5 lengthy stations to be completed within 2-2 1/2 hours ( travel time deducted), leaving no time for rest, food consumption or toilet breaks. now, that couldn't be so hard, could it?

STFU. You have no idea.

The first task was to fix a simple jigsaw puzzle. the only easy part of the event. however, pieces of the puzzle kept flying off the completed piece and there was a large flood of students messing around to show their "masterpiece" and to get their first clue. me and joel decided to step back to watch Kimberly, Minshuang and Co. try to force their way through the coagulation. after 5 years had passed, or 5 minutes of DJ Maxing, we got the worksheet and the goddamned egg. Wendy said these were personally bought to ensure that this event was enjoyable, but i sure as hell hope that the eggs were not her personal belongings. who knows what premarital trouble Joel could get into.

Looking at the screwed white particles moving around one another at the bus stop, we decided to head over to the previous bus stop, where we took 14 and were much to our dismay subjected to 10 minutes of hardcore groping and touching( i shall not delve into deeper descriptions). Took a train and reached our destination finally. Chinatown. What wonderful memories of our forefathers entering a shaded brothel and paying 10 dollars for a BJ. Had to find where the Trishaws are parked. Damn Raffles, because he chose such a nice and cosy corner to park over 50 of them, hidden behind chairs and storehouses and who knows what other things. In the end, we had to answer some History questions to the SC, but were instead reminisced of snorning on the table.

Following that, me and Joel opted to complete the optional quests (a fitting word for a player of Gayple Story)to earn an extra 40 marks at Changi Airport and Little India. During this tiring but funny ordeal, i learnt some things about him.

1. He finds being born as a girl better.
2. Takes pictures of unscenic actions of people and other nonsense.
3. Always suggests to ask a person for help, but doesn't ask himself. =D
4. Uses his handphone prepaid card like water ( perhaps due to the unstoppable calls of Kimberly and Minshuang and love messages to his GOOD FRIEND.)
5.Trains on DJ MAX everytime he sits down. ( srry, forced into his head by me)

We took the train back to Tanah Merah after getting a picture with an air stewardess ( again me being so enthusiastically volunteered by Joel). By that time, we had only 10 minutes left to get back to school and our team members were split up all around Singapore. Raj (self-proclaimed leader), Kimberly and Xiaoshi in Pasir Panjang, Minshuang( 13dian), SY and Jeremy in Kembangan. Regrouped, got back to school late and with a broken egg. ( above suggestion supported by us seeing W.T. getting a bit emotional at this point in time.)

But WTH, we had fun.

Another Food for Thought, Quattad.

Cigarette Catastrophe

2008-05-15T06:20:00.000-07:00

hello. after years of repulsion from blogs, i have made an effort to overcome its stupidity, thus creating this blog. yes, feel free to cry out " omg singapore is winning the world cup soon"/"Paris Hilton will be known as a sane person after all". Thanks to Dildo007/James for creating this blog,really appreciate it.

today was a cancerous day, considering the 3 hour smoking talk and 2 hours of games. the aim of this activity was to persuade teenagers not to smoke by using various ways to abstain and to retrieve people from this.

effective? i think not.

take this scene for example:

TeenA : "hey, just heard your favourite Doujin-Moe comic has not been uploaded. Hard Luck."

TeenB : " yeah, now i have nothing to satisfy my innermost desires. my life has no more meaning..."

(gets ready to shove a PSP down his throat)

TeenA: "eheh, dont like that. comeon, here's a Marbolo Strawberry."

( stunned silence )

TeenB: " Impossible! Right from the KennethChoy Industries for Manufacture of Intimate Objects! HOW did you get it?"

( stuffs a wrapper of Sora Aoi's new Calendar Girl Covers into his pocket )

TeenA: " err... Internet?"

TeenB:'' thanks anyway. HEY!"

TeenA:''What?''

TeenB:" Got the Vanilla flavoured one?"

( chakra burns around TeenA)

TeenA:" STFU. Just smoke it"

TeenB:'' Fine. But what about the school's frequent naggings on cancer and other harmful substances in the cigarette? I dun wanna die too early. ( still a virgin)

TeenA:''Aiya, kanna or never kana cancer, in the end still die right? so just smoke la."

TeenB:" but still... my Dou..."

TeenA:" it gives you ten times the feeling of jacking off to Nikki Nova..."

TeenB:" lets do it."

well, so much for insubstinent screams for anti-nicotine campaigns.

Quattad