YES ACES DAY.
DO IT HARDER MAKE IT BETTER DO IT FASTER MAKES US STRONGER
&('.'&
hello readers. i think its time for another inspirational post from a godlike form like me.
i recently read in the newspapers that the oil prices have finally dropped after a drastic increase from 100 USD to about 150 USD.
and the amount the generous government has subsized is...!
( big roll of drums here)
(claps and applauses)
a goddamned 4 cents.
wow then it will only take me about 27 more years to buy a PSP.
how wonderful.
i think its time we found another way to power our mechanical motorized vehicles.
with a more SATISFYING and ENERGY-EFFICIENT source.
with the astounding advancement in technology and so on, i wonder why scientists haven't thought of this.
ITS CLEAN AND GREEN.
well actually white.
harnessing the power of the little DNA-filled tadpoles in our seminal fluids isn't such a bad idea.
its both elating and it saves the earth at the same time.
with the human population breeding like dogs these years, it wont be that hard.
but some considerations have to be taken note of.
Singaporean A: ( pants ) eh walao i no energy already leh.
Singaporean B: walao you. who ask you dont want to get experience.
Singaporean A: hello. i have been training since 18 years old. but they ask me kojoh for three days straight leh. because my car is Mercedes. a lot of petrol.
maybe use foreigners?
Tourist A: ( grins ) WOW! Singapore is really a Garden City! Really. Its just so relaxing for me to just walk in. Changi Airport is so efficient now. Just go through the barrier and...
( Airport tune sounds through the Intercom)
Airport Person: "may i have your attention please? all male foreigners between the age of 10 to 100, please proceed left from the counter. due to the sudden increase in oil prices, Singapore has found an alternate way to process energy for cars. please select your doujin of choice and head to the Mansturbating Lobby just further up ahead. thank you for your attention. have a nice wank."
( Tourist A suspiciously eyes a corridor which funny sounds are emitting from)
Tourist A: No. Resist. I have to save these up for my Geylang trip later. Resist. Re...
( Airport Tune again)
Airport Person: " forgot to mention. for the elderly who require a much stronger aid, there are live aids waiting at the counter at the lobby."
Tourist A: lets go.
but this could cause fights. even among households.
( Son cries over father's body in coffin)
Son: ( weeps ) DAD! dont die! NOOOO!!!!
( Mother goes to hold Son)
Mother: dont worry Son. Dad is in heaven now, watching over all of us.
Son: NOOOOOOOOOOO! DAD!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVENT RETURNED ME MY 10 CENTS! NOOO!.....
Well, in any case, Earth is going to be spent soon enough.
Savour whatever time you have left.
Since money's not important in heaven, why dont you give it to me?
never mind. i already took it.
Quattad
My life is brilliant.
Your life's a joke.
You're just pathetic.
You're always broke.
You house isnt that beautiful.
Really ain't impressing me.
You're suffering from the illusions of
Adequacy.
You're Pitiful.
You're Pitiful.
You're Pitiful its true.
Never had a date.
That you couldn't inflate.
And you smell repulsive too.
What a bummer be in you.
You just can't dance.
And forget romance.
Everybody you know still calls you
Farty Pants.
LOL i today nothing interesting to post sorry.
So i got to spam this shit.
Quattad.
Xbox360
“Must... obey... Bill Gates... buy more games... Vista is good... Apple is evil...”
~ You on the xBox after playing it for a few minutes
“Bwahahahahahahahaha!! Dance for me, minion! DANCE!! YOU SHALL DAN-”
~ Bill Gates on the previous quote
“-CRITICAL ERROR ”
~ BSoD interupting Bill Gates
The Xbox is the greatest (speaking in terms of size) product Microsoft has made so far, and the second worst (behind Windows Vista).
It's successful because if you don't buy one immediately, Bill Gates will destroy your entire neighborhood with his death ray, and enslave your souls for eternity.
So far it has sold 12 million units worldwide, and scientists theorize that over 7 of those systems actually work.
Their work has, however, been largely discredited, and they have been accused of accepting bribes from Microsoft to claim the figure is that high.
Xbox games are usually created by locking a bunch of nerdy programmers in a small room with several computers and nothing to eat.
The games are taken out and put in nice boxes when everyone in the room has been dead for a week. If there is evidence of cannibalism, the game is sold as a Platinum Hit.
The xBox 360 was created by Bill Gates after the massive success of the original xBox.
He built it because the original xBox had several critical design flaws. The console occasionally didn't crash when it was turned on, sometimes it was possible to make a game work for more than 5 seconds, and the shards of plastic that flew everywhere when the system exploded if you managed to make a game work weren't always fatal.
Thus, the xBox 360 was developed.
Logo of an Xbox360; first an X, then a square Box, and a 360 degrees circle.
nothing much to type today. just GG to our geog.
and screw 2/6 LOL.
giving you the minute daily dosage of immortal intelligence,
Naruto Uzumaki
Naruto is oftentimes believed to be gay with Sasuke, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Gaara, Chouji, Kiba, Orochimaru, Jiraya, Itachi, the third Hokage, Konohamaru, and many pedophiles who randomly appear throughout the series.
Naruto is of a clan of Southern Red Indians. However the general population does not realize this and as a result vast numbers of small children have been admitted to mental hospitals across the nation.
Naruto's story begins with a humungous rabbit being stuffed within his stomach and the scar being glued in a swirly shape with Super Glue.
Shino Aburame
Also known as the Bug Guy or Bug Man by those who can't be bothered to name him.
He wears his large coat to illegally sell DVDs to people, although most the DVDs are about bugs ironically.
Shino keeps bugs in his body, to make him all wiggly and jiggly.
Singapore Zero Wing Rhapsody
The Straits Times: In A.D. 2008, political war was happening
Chee Soon Juan: What happen?
Jeyaretnam: Someone set us up the libel case.
Low Thia Khiang: We get signal.
Chiam See Tong: Main screen turn on.
Chee Soon Juan: It's you!??!!1!!11oneone!!?
Lee Kwan Yew: How are you gentlemen?
Lee Kwan Yew: All your parliament seats are belong to us.
Lee Kwan Yew: You are on the way to bankruptcy!
Chee Soon Juan: What you say!?
Lee Kwan Yew: You have no chance to appeal make your time.
Lee Kwan Yew: HAHAHA!
Chee Soon Juan: Take off every party newsletter.
Chee Soon Juan: You know what you doing.
Chee Soon Juan: Withraw bank accounts.
Chee Soon Juan: For great democracy!
Singapore Armed Forces
Consisting of millions of loyal and dedicated soldiers, the military of Singapore, known as the Singapore Armed Forces or the SAF, is the most powerful army in the world and has never lost any battles (because it has not fought in any).
The secret to their zero military defeat record (despite not being in any battles at all) is rumoured to be attributed to their assisted inception and development by the Israeli Defence Force (IDF). It is also rumoured that many military commanders are actually the by-products of an Israeli military experiment gone wrong.
The military is also famed for giving out educational bursaries called SAFOS (Special Awards For Ordinary Singaporeans) to 18 year olds in an attempt to "bond their souls" to the military for life.
With tea sessions which cost more than a million dollars each to organize, the military does an apparently successful job of convincing the general population that a soldier's life is a glorious and glamourous one;
still, as one recruit interviewed by the local newspaper Today in 2007 remarked, "[...] actually we're just all there for the imba siew mai served at the tea reception lah."
PSP
The PSP, or Porn Station Portable (name was picked because of the system being used by many teens is a Sony handheld system, famously known for having one screen rather than the double... um... ness of the two-screened DS, which screws people's minds, made by the shit rival company Nintendo.
The PSP is rumoured to be a gaming device. This is a myth; it is actually an mobile phone without the "phone" part.
Universal Media Disk is a backronym for UMD. This term refers to the fact that the UMD will only run on the PSP and will universally be useless for any other machine, player, or console. Sony views this as a personal accomplishment, and laughs at those who do not see it their way.
The effectiveness of the UMD was questioned in 1984, after a number of Japanese soldiers had been among the fatalities of their own UMD's. In recent years, UMD's have apparently been re-marketed in a number of Eastern European countries as an effective, low cost, drain unclogger.
Below is a picture of a professonal Sony technological execute showing the functions of the PSP
enough for today. going to watch samurai champloo nao.
have a good laugh, Quattad.
